Not long ago I Tweeted and commented on a few blogs something along the sentiment of, “I wish mainstream media would STFU and get over their Twitter orgies already and just accept it as a way we communicate now.”

Because seriously, while I think it’s very useful for things like breaking news, Twitter ITSELF is not breaking news, but don’t tell CNN, FOX, ABC, Ellen DeGeneres, et. al.

Fellow Michigan-Tweeter Ryan Meray, replied and pointed me toward the social media blog over at Amplify, where I learned two things:

1. the end is nowhere near, and
2. The End really is near.

Oh, doublespeak, I love you so.

The Tweetpocalypse is coming, and it’s coming Friday, April 17, 2009:

Oprah is doing a show dedicated Twitter. . . with Ashton Kutcher.

From the blogs at New York Times:

The woman who can single-handedly send a new product or book flying off the shelves has just joined Twitter. She has not yet written a tweet, but more than 30,000 followers have already signed up to follow her every 140-character thought, and the number is growing. Rumor has it she will write her first tweet on Friday, when she is dedicating her show to Twitter. (It airs at 4 p.m. Eastern time — check your local listings here for details on viewing the show in your area.)

Ashton Kutcher will be on the show, according to Oprah’s Web site. He is one of Twitter’s most active celebrity twitterers and will most likely talk about his race with CNN to be the first to get a million followers.

Jimmy asks on Amplify what all this might mean. Has Twitter officially jumped the shark? “Tipped” as Malcolm Gladwell would say?

Among some banter back and forth between @RyanMeray and myself, it was decided that tomorrow is officially the TWEETOPRAHCALYPSE.

As I commented at Amplify,

I really admire and respect the Golden Touch of Oprah, but this time I’m afraid. I was a very early adopter, and am one in general, as I signed up for Twitter in April of 2007. The fact that Oprah’s coming is now. . . not only frightening, but starting to steer me away from it all together.

Is Twitter officially getting Punk’d? Or is Ashton Kutcher getting Punk’d by Twitter? Will the Oprah Touch cause the Fail Whale to emerge like the Cracken? Is this the end of the internets as we know it? What will happen?