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Be careful whom you “unfriend”

January 15, 2010 by · 9 Comments
downandout

Something happened earlier that made me almost feel bad for somebody. Almost.

By now we know that “unfriend” was the official word of 2009. (I’m going to just set my Grammar Goddess cringing aside and go with it for this post.)

I’m in the process of (re)developing a brand for a client of mine, and while I know a lot of people in various disciplines of web design, graphic design, or any other kind of design in between, I had a certain former colleague in mind whom I knew would be able to conceptualize the perfect new logo for said client. I had worked with her in the past, had been impressed with her work, and she had expressed interest in working with me after the start of the new year.

I kept that in mind, and decided to take her up on it. I went to Facebook and tried to search for her in my friends, but to no avail. I remembered that she recently got married and her last name was different, so I searched again. No dice. So I searched one of our real-life mutual friends’ friends, and sure enough, she was in there.

Former colleague had unfriended me. To my knowledge I did nothing to offend her, and I’m left a little confuzzled.

No matter, I’ve got myriad contacts that would gladly take this referral, as it has the potential to be pretty lucrative and would be a great addition to any portfolio. But I can’t help but wonder why the heck this former colleague “unfriended” me. No, we don’t see each other every day, and no, we were never BFFs by any measure, but she was the perfect person for this assignment, and now … well, as my dad likes to say, “You snooze, you lose.”

The lesson to be learned from this?

Be careful whom you unfriend — it could cost you!

Image by robotclaw.

Filed Under: Miscellaneous · Tagged With: ,

What to do when “you’re doing it wrong” goes wrong

July 20, 2009 by · 20 Comments
funny-pictures-facebook-library-cat

funny-pictures-facebook-library-cat Let’s face it — social media consultants/strategists/ninjas/experts/jedis/gurus/swamis/mavens/ringmasters/highpriestesses/whatevers are know-it-alls, even when, as I and many others have pointed out, nobody can possibly know it all. Yet deep down, we (and I say “we” because I admit that yes, I do fall into that sweeping category of “social media people”) really just want to help people who aren’t necessarily the nerds that we are.

Many times, we’re successful and people are glad that we were there to help them out, answer questions, and give them some guidance.

Other times, not so much.

Sometimes, you can reach out to an organization that you care deeply about and offer your help, and give them your time and help, and they won’t acknowledge it. If they acknowledge it, they won’t appreciate it, or they won’t understand why what you’re trying to help them with is important, until their peers are suddenly moving in on the game.

When that happens, it becomes an issue of “keeping up with the Joneses,” and said organization will decide that they have to have all the same tools that they hear about on TV, that their competitors are using, that they feel like they should be using because well, everybody else is and ooh — shiny objects! Never will they stop to assess what their overall goals are, who their audience is, if their target market is even using said tools — they’ll have no sense of strategy whatsoever.

Sometimes, no matter what you say to people, it’s not going to resonate.

No matter if you tell them that there are only 5 people in the entire region active on Twitter (and you know because you’ve met all of them), they’re still going to think they need a Twitter account to “reach out to their local audience.”

It’s not going to matter that you know they need a Facebook page and not a Facebook group to accomplish what they want to do — if they won’t listen to you, if they insist on “doing it wrong,” you can try to convince them that they’re “doing it wrong” until you’re blue in the face.

Sometimes, people aren’t going to listen. And you know what?

You’ve got to let it go.

Walk away. You tried. That’s all you can do.

If people insist on “doing it wrong” — it won’t do you any good to kick and scream.

Sometimes, you have to let people do things “the hard way,” otherwise they’ll never learn.

I’ve learned to do more things “the hard way” in my life than I’d like to admit, but my stubbornness has subsided in recent years. I’ve learned that it’s much easier to keep your mouth shut and ears open if you want to learn something the “easy way.”

But you know what?

Not everybody knows that.

So you have to just walk away and hold your head high knowing that you tried.

(Ever had that kind of situation?)

Filed Under: Miscellaneous, Social Media · Tagged With: , , ,

Are you creating bad “social currency” on Facebook?

June 22, 2009 by · 10 Comments

Courtney Engle pointed me to this awesome video by Scott Stratten of UnMarketing and it was too good not to share. Scott’s talking about bad “social currency” and the annoying stuff people do on Facebook:

I can totally empathize. There are many people who say that there’s no wrong way to use social media tools, but I think that’s a bunch of baloney. If you do the things that Scott’s describing, you might not think you’re doing anything “wrong,” but the rest of us want to reach through our computer screens and strangle you.

Scott only scratched the surface of  “Don’t Be That Guy on Facebook” — personally my biggest pet peeve is That Guy who has to post the SAME DAMN STUFF to multiple Facebook groups and fan pages. I’m not going to name names, but I’ve got a couple of Those Guys.

People, please — don’t do that.

When you do that, it floods my (unexplainable) “highlights” section on the home page with the same thing over and over, e.g.: “John Doe added these 5 pictures of Event X to the group __”, and “John Doe added these 5 pictures of Event X to the page __,” etc.

If you have a story or some pictures you think might be of interest to people in similar groups or fans of similar things, chances are they’re mostly the same people and you’re spamming them.

FACEBOOK IS NOT FOR SPAMMING.

When you do this, it may appear to you that you know who your audience is because you’re targeting groups and fan pages of similar interest, but if you were really paying attention, you’d notice that it’s mostly the same people and you’re being rude. If you are in multiple groups and pages of similar interest, so is everybody else you’re trying to reach.

Sure, I could choose to “hide” updates and stuff from the people who do this, but then I’d not get the information at all, and I do want to receive the information. Just not over and over and over again.

So if this sounds like you, cut it out. If it sounds like somebody you know but don’t have the heart to tell them, send them a link to this post.

What other annoying things have you noticed people do on Facebook? Rant away!

Filed Under: Rants, Social Media · Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter are NOT the Holy Trinity.

April 20, 2009 by · 13 Comments
lotsofsmnetworks

p1030196I might be slaughtering a few sacred purple cows here.

It seems I can’t go anywhere online to any of my networks without seeing advertisements or invitations for workshops on “How to use Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for Business.” Join a few groups on LinkedIn and you’ll find announcements for these things all over the country. I’ve been to a couple, and they are very helpful for those that are just dipping their toe in the social media waters.

However, I’ve talked to some small business owners and a few nonprofits, and the impression I get from them is that they feel very pressured to join these networks. I had a potential client email me last week that said, “My organization needs a Twitter campaign, and needs a Facebook page, and needs . . .”

You get the idea.

The overabundance of these workshops has all but struck the fear of God into people, as if they absolutely had to use Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn for their business and/or nonprofit or else it would be nothing but fire and brimstone — their businesses will fail, their ships will sink, and they’ll die old and lonley. (OK, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.)

Here’s the good news for folks that are feeling this way:

Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn are not the Holy Trinity.

They are the “Big Three” for now. But, as the auto industry can tell you, don’t assume that all of the Big Three are infallible.

There are many people with businesses and/or nonprofits that do not use these services that are doing just fine. David Meerman Scott is not on LinkedIn and he’s totally OK with that.  Twitter is a great tool, yes, but just because Oprah uses it (allegedly) doesn’t mean that everybody does. There are a LOT of people that don’t use it, and your audience might be among those people.

As I commented at Duct Tape Marketing,

If you’re in a small town and the majority of your customers not only aren’t on Twitter but haven’t even heard of it, what are you trying to accomplish? I like to say, “If your audience is at the bowling alley, don’t go marketing yourself at the roller rink.”

Social media is much, much bigger than Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Your audience could be on any of these networks and even some that aren’t shown:

lotsofsmnetworks

The beauty of the internet is that things are constantly changing. There is a possibility that someday soon one, two, or all three of these current “Big Three” services will be trumped by the newest shiny object in social media and they will quietly fade into the background a la Friendster.

But even Friendster is still popular . . . in the Philippines. And other networks are more popular in other counties, such as Bebo in Ireland. (I had never heard of it until I befriended an Irishman.) So if your customers or donors are located elsewhere in the world, I recommend you take a look at this data of social network popularity around the world (as of 2008) .

The trick here, as it always has been, is finding where your audience is spending time online. Then go set up camp there. But first establish a strategy, don’t just be somewhere for the sake of being there if you’re not going to engage your audience.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a very big fan of Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. They can be great for business . . . if used correctly. First get acquainted with these three as an individual, then think about them as possibilities for business. It’s the same concept as dating somebody before marrying them — it’s probably a good idea to get to know their good qualities, their bad qualities, maybe even their mother — before deciding if this is someone or something you want to commit to, because once you do, you’re in it for the long haul.

What do you think? Are these “Big Three” absolutely essential for business? Or are they only hot right now, with something else “essential” on the horizon?

Filed Under: Rants, Social Media · Tagged With: , , , , ,

My social network wish list for the internet deities

March 24, 2009 by · 4 Comments
flying-spaghetti-monster

flying-spaghetti-monsterIn the beginning of my recent post where I told the Facebook Luddites to stop whining, I pointed out some minor changes that social networks have made lately, and also emphasized that technology is constantly being improved upon, hence this thing we call innovation. Unlike these misoneists (had to use that word again), I actually look forward to new features on my favorite sites, and found myself brainstorming on what I’d like to see in the future from these mythical beings of the web known as developers, who are rumored to live somewhere in the cloud among the Google Gods.

Without further ado, I present my wish list of new features I’d like to see among select social properties, and hopefully They are listening:

Facebook:

  • level playing field and include a “does not like” option in addition to the new “like” feature
  • a “meh” button for the apathetic (this one’s from my friend Ian)
  • “Not a Fan” pages (e.g.: “Stacy is NOT A FAN of the Yankees.”)
  • allow users to be in multiple geographic networks (i.e.: for those who live in one and work in another, or those who recently relocated but still want to be in their home network)
  • ban MySpace-like “surveys” and other similar memes, otherwise make those people go back to MySpace
  • have a “3 strikes” policy that would forbid somebody from friend-requesting multiple times (If I’ve said no once, I’m not going to change my mind!)
  • a way to bookmark inside Facebook the links of your friends that you like
  • charge people who whine to “bring the ‘old’ Facebook back” every time changes are made

Twitter:

  • instant visibility of locked twitter accounts that choose to follow you (much like how Facebook unlocks one’s profile to be seen by the person whom they are trying to befriend)
  • some kind of 3rd party application telling you who NOT to follow and/or who has you blocked (this may already exist, there are so many Twitter apps out there I can’t keep track of them. Does it? Bueller?)

LinkedIn:

  • rename the “Answers” section either “Questions” or “Questions & Answers,” because that makes more sense
  • ability to group contacts much like Facebook’s “Friend Lists” with multiple privacy options (this was suggested by a friend, I’m ambivalent)

MySpace:

  • please do not cease to exist, but keep all the annoying people on MySpace from invading Facebook somehow (I’m going to catch hell for this one, just watch)

Real life:

  • have a service like “shorten URL” that you can plug long meetings into
  • an escape key for awkward situations
  • CTRL+F: car keys & other things I can never find when I need them
  • incorporate hashtags into real life somehow so people would know what we’re referring to instantly

So there’s my wish list for social networks. I can only hope those in The Cloud are listening and ask for no goats’ blood. What would you like to see?

Flying Spaghetti Monster image via Perrenque.

Filed Under: Geekery, Social Media · Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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