Idol needs Simon, Dancing needs Len, and we need people like them.

[OK, yes, I know I just put up a post saying I was going into an official "blogging hiatus," but this just came out last night and you SAID you wanted to read "whatever was on my mind." So here ya go. /tdr]

As a rule, I generally don’t watch TV, and when I do, it’s usually not a reality show. The only season of American Idol I’ve ever watched was Season 6 and that was only because LaKisha Jones is my homegirl – we both hail from the same town of Flint, Michigan, originally. On and off for the past few years I’ve watched Dancing with the Stars, but this is the only year I’ve actually made it a point to follow the series with weekly devotion.

If you’re not familiar with them, the formula for these shows is rather simple:  the contestants do their thing, then three judges (only recently four on AI) give their critique, but ultimately it’s the viewers’ votes that determine who stays and who goes.

I was watching Dancing with the Stars last night and got thinking about the dynamic of the judges on these shows. There are three typical personalities, and from what I’ve noticed, these three personae aren’t just a formula they use for televised talent shows — they are prevalent in all of our lives.

Let’s take a look at them, in a nutshell:

• The Nice One – This is the Paula, Ellen, the Carrie Ann. Though on the shows this is usually a woman, it need not be in real life. They’re the ones who, even when they think the contestant was crappy, can’t quite just bluntly say it was crappy. They tend to sugarcoat everything, and know how to soften the blow of even the harshest criticism. Words commonly coming from their mouths include, “I know you can do better and I think you know it, too” and “That just didn’t do it for me, but I’m just one person, and you look really great in that outfit!”
• The Unpredictable One – This would be the Randys and the Brunos. You never know what they’re going to say. When you think you’ve pleased them, you haven’t, and when you think they hate whatever it is that you just did, they love it. These people generally have some kind of a catch phrase (“dawg”), or something about them that makes them very memorable, like being extremely animated, if not the human equivalent of a Muppet.
• The Harsh One – This would be Simon and Len. This is the judge whose comments are feared the most, because they’re usually brutal — brutally honest. “Blunt” is a common word used to describe them, and oftentimes their comments are met with boos from the audience. They sugarcoat nothing, they tell it like they see it, and often they are perceived as “negative.”

(Note: I know there’s that chick who is now the fourth judge on Idol but because I haven’t watched it since she’s been on there, I can’t say much about her.)

At varying times in varying situations, I’ve heard people say they were going to “cut out the negative people” in their life, or I’ve heard people say “only surround yourself with positive people and you’ll be much happier.” But I have to ask, really?

I hear that this is Simon’s last year on Idol. Who will replace him? Will they replace him? Regardless — American Idol without Simon just won’t be the same. Imagine if Dancing with the Stars suddenly decided they were going to take Len out of the picture — oh sure, the show would still go on, but would the dancers still get the honest feedback that he gives them? Would it still be the same?

Last night Evan Lysacek, the Olympic gold medalist in figure skating and crowd favorite, did what many thought was a great samba with his partner, Anna. I enjoyed watching it, and Carrie Ann and Bruno both loved it. Len, on the other hand, pointed out that technically Evan’s hips weren’t right for that particular dance, he expected better than that from him, and therefore he had to mark Evan down.

The crowd booed and hissed at Len’s remarks, but you know what? He was right. This happens with Simon all the time.

The world needs people like Len and Simon. And likewise, we need people like Len and Simon in our lives, too. Simon and Len don’t care about the boos and the hisses, because even when people don’t like what they hear, let’s face it — they’re usually right.

Without the eye and ear for detail that these two have, and even the bluntness of their delivery, it’s hard to imagine if the contestants on these two shows would work as hard to improve every week. Would Evan know that his hips weren’t right for the samba, and would he learn what not to do? Carrie Ann and Bruno didn’t mention anything about it. Would the singers on Idol know what to concentrate on for their vocals and stage presence, other than to not be “too pitchy, dawg”? Probably not.

Simon and Len aren’t actually “negative,” they’re honest. And people, as a rule, are neither entirely “negative” or “positive” — people are more complex than that. Like a Duracell battery, we have a positive end, a negative end, and a whole lot of mixed energy in between the two. It’s hard to win the approval of Simon and Len, but when they do praise a contestant for a job well done, it’s always sincere, the contestant knows they did well, and it means that much more.

When people claim they’re going to “eliminate the negative people” from their life, I can’t help but wonder if people aren’t purposely omitting the ones that actually challenge them to do better, and to think about things a little harder. And if so, where’s the happiness in that?

Ignorance is not bliss, and as nice looking as Evan Lysacek is, gold medal skater or not, his hips weren’t right for the samba. If Len hadn’t pointed that out, and if Evan didn’t know that now, he wouldn’t know to work on them for next week’s dance, and the problem would manifest again and again until he REALLY blows a dance where hips are crucial.

The shows need Simon and Len, and we need people like them. We also need the nicer ones with that soften the blow, and the unpredictable ones with catchphrases and Muppet-like energy to keep us on our toes. But eliminate any one of those types of people and you’re left without a complete talent show, and without a well-rounded worldview.

I know personally I keep certain people around not because they constantly pat me on the back and give me attaboys, but because they’re not afraid to tell me that I did something dumb if I really did do something dumb, they’re not afraid to tell me they expected more from me, and they’re not afraid to question and challenge me. They play Devil’s Advocate, either intentionally or not, and they’ll even tell me if my butt looks big in that. Without these people, I don’t think I’d grow, and my butt would look a lot bigger than it actually is.

What do you think? Am I way off the mark here? Am I missing something? Who are the Simons and Lens in your life, and if you omitted them, would you really be the same? Would you be challenged to do better?

Photos were swiped from ABC.com, though I’m not sure if that was legal.