Let’s face it — social media consultants/strategists/ninjas/experts/jedis/gurus/swamis/mavens/ringmasters/highpriestesses/whatevers are know-it-alls, even when, as I and many others have pointed out, nobody can possibly know it all. Yet deep down, we (and I say “we” because I admit that yes, I do fall into that sweeping category of “social media people”) really just want to help people who aren’t necessarily the nerds that we are.
Many times, we’re successful and people are glad that we were there to help them out, answer questions, and give them some guidance.
Other times, not so much.
Sometimes, you can reach out to an organization that you care deeply about and offer your help, and give them your time and help, and they won’t acknowledge it. If they acknowledge it, they won’t appreciate it, or they won’t understand why what you’re trying to help them with is important, until their peers are suddenly moving in on the game.
When that happens, it becomes an issue of “keeping up with the Joneses,” and said organization will decide that they have to have all the same tools that they hear about on TV, that their competitors are using, that they feel like they should be using because well, everybody else is and ooh — shiny objects! Never will they stop to assess what their overall goals are, who their audience is, if their target market is even using said tools — they’ll have no sense of strategy whatsoever.
Sometimes, no matter what you say to people, it’s not going to resonate.
No matter if you tell them that there are only 5 people in the entire region active on Twitter (and you know because you’ve met all of them), they’re still going to think they need a Twitter account to “reach out to their local audience.”
It’s not going to matter that you know they need a Facebook page and not a Facebook group to accomplish what they want to do — if they won’t listen to you, if they insist on “doing it wrong,” you can try to convince them that they’re “doing it wrong” until you’re blue in the face.
Sometimes, people aren’t going to listen. And you know what?
You’ve got to let it go.
Walk away. You tried. That’s all you can do.
If people insist on “doing it wrong” — it won’t do you any good to kick and scream.
Sometimes, you have to let people do things “the hard way,” otherwise they’ll never learn.
I’ve learned to do more things “the hard way” in my life than I’d like to admit, but my stubbornness has subsided in recent years. I’ve learned that it’s much easier to keep your mouth shut and ears open if you want to learn something the “easy way.”
But you know what?
Not everybody knows that.
So you have to just walk away and hold your head high knowing that you tried.
(Ever had that kind of situation?)
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I have to agree with you on the entire learning process. Sometimes when you are even trying to suggest something to someone and NOT an organization they insist on doing it there way. The problem is slowly, you learn, they are smarter than they claim and if they put a little bit of thought into the situation they can learn. I guess they just need a different teacher.
Being an advocate for change isn’t always easy. Sometimes the road we travel, well no one believes it is a great road to be on. So there will always be challenges.
Great post! I agree with it on an organization and personal branding stand point.
You hit the nail on the head, Stacy.
If someone comes in with their predispositions, as much as they say they’re “open for advice” what they really want is you to take your reputation/etc. and do what they were going to do, but approve it as being the wise strategy. I’ve seen with colleagues and experienced it multiple times. It’s the freelance/agency version of the faux open door policy – you know, when you work at a big organization, and your boss says “come in anytime” and the reality is that it’s just lip service?
I recently saw “10 reasons you should politely decline a web design job” and it, although some of the technical points are different, reminds me a little bit of this post in that there’s times no amount of money is really worth the headache. This is where business and “doing it right” can collide – I know plenty of people who are just fine collecting the bill and just giving the client whatever they want, even if it’s headed to the abyss.
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@damnredhead Ha! I’m trying to write a post right now about how I “did it wrong.” Completely different, but it startled me to see your post.
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You cannot enlighten the dead. It’s a phrase I’ve repeated to myself many times over the years as a reminder that just because someone looks alive doesn’t mean they are.
Some folks choose to take the hardest way every time.
I especially like it when they come back later and tell you what they’ve learned and want to show you what you tried to show them earlier.
@Jamie Of course I was referring to individuals as well, but I went on it from an organizational standpoint so as to not seems like I was inferring any single person. I encounter this a lot, with individuals who make up an organization, with individuals who are a part of no organization, it doesn’t matter. However, I don’t think it’s a case of “sometimes they need a different teacher” as much as what Jeremiah says — many times they ask for your help as a disguise for just wanting your approval on what they were planning on doing all along (even though it’s not right).
@Jeremiah – I’m glad I’m not alone — I know some certain people who will just “give them what they want” & collect the money even though they themselves know it’s not the right way to go. I don’t approve of this at all, because I feel that part of one’s responsibility as a professional in whatever field they’re in is not only doing the job right, but educating the client as to why they did what they did, and explaining why doing it differently would have had unfavorable results. Maybe I have too much of a conscience, but I’ve actually bowed out of working with certain people/companies because I knew they were more concerned about the money and less about the results and the ethics (or lack thereof).
@mcwflint - I think I’m going to steal Jeremiah’s phrase above and tell you that you hit the nail on the head there. I don’t know if it’s because of our sharing the same uh, geographic proximity or what, but that’s really the entire feeling I have and was hoping to convey in this post (although yeah, I’ll admit I tried to pretty it up some). However, I don’t like it when they come back later and tell you what they’ve learned and want to show you what you tried to show the all along. That frustrates the hell out of me and makes me want to bash my head into a wall, because it feels like I’m screaming in space and nobody can hear me. It’s as if nothing I’ve ever said makes any difference, and it makes me feel like my efforts were in vain. Which is why I choose now to just walk away.
I think we’ve all been here…sometimes it’s just so hard to walk away knowing what’s going to happen before it does. How can they possibly turn their backs on a crystal ball, right?! It seems crazy at the time.
I think the other thing that we have to consider is that we all have had different educations, experiences and successes/failures…all of that plays into the experiences you are describing. While we’d love to say “No! My way is the right way and you’re going to fail…” we can’t because we don’t always know that for sure.
Reading blogs and people’s comments, tweets, statues, etc. gives me those insights…because you never know when the crystal ball might be a little bit cracked.
Beth Harte
Community Manager, MarketingProfs
@bethharte
@Beth - You’re right, we don’t always know for sure; we only know what we’ve seen and what we’ve experienced ourselves. I think what we forget oftentimes is that much of social media is subjective, and what works for one may not work for another, and vice-versa. As time goes on, “best practices” are emerging, but there will always be those anomalies of a person or company implementing a certain tactic successfully that by all of our “laws” (for lack of better term) dictate would (should?) fail. Yet those instances are few and far between, which is why they stand out as exceptions. Our problem is that we just never know when that’s going to happen, but unfortunately, so many cases are so very textbook no-nos that it’s almost routine for us to smack our foreheads!
Might someone not be wrong?
I grasp your point, Stacy, but who are you to say you’re right and Jill is wrong? Her methods may not be the way you’d do it, but don’t assume because a nail doesn’t have a point it won’t stick in the wood, for I can take the nail and staple-gun the top of it or secure the block with duck tape.
Jill’s methods may be deviant to popular opinion, but the only way some people can learn to ride a bike is by falling down.
@Ari I conceded to your first point above in my response to Beth, in which I said “I think what we forget oftentimes is that much of social media is subjective, and what works for one may not work for another, and vice-versa.”
As to your second point of “the only way some people can learn to ride a bike is by falling down,” . . . that was the point I was trying to make in the post. So I guess I agree with you on both fronts!
You asked: Ever had that kind of situation?
My answer: Yes.
Thanks for the post.
LOL! You’re welcome!
It’s especially frustrating when we really do care about the organization, want to save them trial-and-error costs, want them to succeed. When we really have seen the train wreck coming:
Sometimes their decision has unfavorable consequences that the alternative would have avoided, but still recoverable after the fact, and even a “fail” might be, in a larger scheme organizationally, a necessary step. The next step, post-mortem, has more than once revealed the previously hidden drivers behind their decision (HOW many times had I asked… just-not-quite-the-right questions?), a huge asset in subsequent program planning.
Sometimes, not so amazingly and with no acknowledgement their next plan incorporates your earlier proposals. That may be the highest form of appreciation and recognition, confirmation of trust and an even stronger relationship.
I had to go in and delete a bunch of weird code-y gobbledygook I’m not sure how it got in your comment, but rest assured, it’s gone now.
I know what you mean. I think my problem is that sometimes I care too much, and that’s why these kind of things frustrate me.
Yuck gook – because I wrote it in a Blackberry note, sent it to myself then cut-and-pasted it here? The Rube Goldberg method
Sorry bout that & thanks!
Can you care too much when the cause is good? At least we can step back, when they can’t, and still be there prepared when they ask, “what next?