My social network wish list for the internet deities

In the beginning of my recent post where I told the Facebook Luddites to stop whining, I pointed out some minor changes that social networks have made lately, and also emphasized that technology is constantly being improved upon, hence this thing we call innovation. Unlike these misoneists (had to use that word again), I actually look forward to new features on my favorite sites, and found myself brainstorming on what I’d like to see in the future from these mythical beings of the web known as developers, who are rumored to live somewhere in the cloud among the Google Gods.

Without further ado, I present my wish list of new features I’d like to see among select social properties, and hopefully They are listening:

Facebook:

• level playing field and include a “does not like” option in addition to the new “like” feature
• a “meh” button for the apathetic (this one’s from my friend Ian)
• “Not a Fan” pages (e.g.: “Stacy is NOT A FAN of the Yankees.”)
• allow users to be in multiple geographic networks (i.e.: for those who live in one and work in another, or those who recently relocated but still want to be in their home network)
• ban MySpace-like “surveys” and other similar memes, otherwise make those people go back to MySpace
• have a “3 strikes” policy that would forbid somebody from friend-requesting multiple times (If I’ve said no once, I’m not going to change my mind!)
• a way to bookmark inside Facebook the links of your friends that you like
• charge people who whine to “bring the ‘old’ Facebook back” every time changes are made

Twitter:

• instant visibility of locked twitter accounts that choose to follow you (much like how Facebook unlocks one’s profile to be seen by the person whom they are trying to befriend)
• some kind of 3rd party application telling you who NOT to follow and/or who has you blocked (this may already exist, there are so many Twitter apps out there I can’t keep track of them. Does it? Bueller?)

LinkedIn:

• rename the “Answers” section either “Questions” or “Questions & Answers,” because that makes more sense
• ability to group contacts much like Facebook’s “Friend Lists” with multiple privacy options (this was suggested by a friend, I’m ambivalent)

MySpace:

• please do not cease to exist, but keep all the annoying people on MySpace from invading Facebook somehow (I’m going to catch hell for this one, just watch)

Real life:

• have a service like “shorten URL” that you can plug long meetings into
• an escape key for awkward situations
• CTRL+F: car keys & other things I can never find when I need them
• incorporate hashtags into real life somehow so people would know what we’re referring to instantly

So there’s my wish list for social networks. I can only hope those in The Cloud are listening and ask for no goats’ blood. What would you like to see?

Flying Spaghetti Monster image via Perrenque.

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